Billie Eilish - "wish you were gay"

"wish you were gay - Billie Eilish" [Review]

written by thehatsmol

Artist: Billie Eilish

Song: "wish you were gay"

Listen:

Background:
Billie Eilish Pirate Baird O'Connell, professionally known as Billie Eilish, is an American singer-songwriter. She first saw her peak in popularity back in 2016 with her single "Ocean Eyes". Since then, she has accumulated over 194 million Spotify and has had multiple songs hit the Billboard charts.

Eilish first started music by performing covers for her hometown with her brother, Finneas O'Connell (better known as FINNEAS, who now helps her produce/write her songs). She later released some of her first songs in 2016 such as "Six Feet Under" & "Ocean Eyes" on SoundCloud. Months later, she would drop her debut project, "don't smile at me", with a feature from Vince Staples. Her debut album, "WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?", is slated to release on March 29th, 2019.

"wish you were gay" was first mentioned by Eilish when she did a quick ukelele demo on an Instagram Live. Since then, the song has garnered millions of fans wanting an official release. On January 29th, 2019, fans were overjoyed to see the song on the tracklist. On March 4th, 2019, Eilish released the song on streaming platforms. This is the 4th single from the album and the last single before then.

Review:
I am ecstatic that this song got to see a commercial release. Ever since it was first "performed" I guess you can say, I slept on it a bit, but recently I've been getting into it. I was a bit skeptical when I heard the snippet she posted on Instagram, thinking that the merging of these two different sounds (guitar and the r&b-ish/chill bass/synths) When I first had a full listen, I was utterly amazed. The beat drop is so, beautiful. The vocals, the beat, both FINNEAS & Billie outdid themselves. I am truly content with the final outcome.

Despite the song being such an upbeat (for her standards), the song does have a lot of layers to it. She explained in the past that this song was for a person who treated her poorly/didn't feel the same way she did. She took it to heart, thinking that it was because of her and her personality, but in the end, she found out it was because he was gay. She wrote the song a few weeks before he came out. She explained this on her Instagram:

"I wrote this song about a guy that really was not interested in me and it made me feel horrible so the song is called ‘wish you were gay’. And that’s so not meant to be offensive in any way. It literally means I wish he was gay so that he didn’t like me for an actual reason.
And guess what he just came out to me like a couple weeks ago. so I wrote the song and made him fuck a dude. I’m fucking proud bro except not really though because I was really into him, like so into him, he’s so hot oh my god."


From the excerpt, you can tell how she feels about this.

Something else that I noticed while listening were the countdowns during her verses. I felt like this is a countdown of detonation, or when she thinks enough is enough and goes crazy. It's very subtle and took me a while to realize it:

"Baby, I don't feel so good
Six words you never understood
I'll never let you go
Five words you never say (Aww)
I laugh alone like nothing's wrong
Four days has never felt so long
If three's a crowd and two was us
One slipped away (Hahahahahahahaha)"

"Is there a reason we're not through?
Is there a 12 step just for you?
Our conversation's all in blue
11 "heys" (Hey, hey, hey, hey)
Ten fingers tearing out my hair
Nine times you never made it there
I ate alone at 7, you were six minutes away (Yay)"


That is genius. Never seen any type of song-writing like that. Additionally, it was a nice touch adding the additional "crowd sounds" (Aww; Hahahahahaha; Yay) in between a few bars during the verses.

During the chorus, Billie seems, conflicted. She's asking the question, "How am I supposed to make you feel okay. When all you do is walk the other way?". How is she supposed to make him feel good if he doesn't care or doesn't pay attention? She's trying her hardest but he keeps knocking her down and shutting her out. She also restates how she "wishes he was gay".

Finally, we move on to the final part (before the final chorus). The bridge probably vocalizes her issues the clearest, making it known how she feels about him not liking her without the complications. Assuming that she wrote the lyrics before this unknown man came out due to her point of view in the song, she is still questioning him:

"To spare my pride
To give your lack of interest an explanation
Don't say I'm not your type
Just say that I'm not your preferred sexual orientation
I'm so selfish
But you make me feel helpless, yeah"


To spare "her pride", she wants a definitive answer to his lack of interest in her. She doesn't want any excuses like "Your not my type", she just wants him to admit that he's gay, or his "preferred sexual orientation" (Well, if he is, which we all know that the guy is gay, but this was written and is in the perspective that it's unknown, so nobody could have had a positive answer). At the very end, the song ends in a fading & drowning applause.

Memorable Moments:
  • Whenever she whisper's in the song, for example the first verse, it's like your having an eargasm. It takes awhile to get accustomed to, almost like ASMR.
  • How she sings when there's a beat drop goes hard (1:37-1:45 goes hard especially).
  • Her little "ad-libs" during her verses sound great.
  • The instrumental is so smooth and calming. I could just listen to the drops on repeat all day. Her brother is as talented, maybe more talented than she is.
  • The power in her voice really makes you feel the passion.
  • Vocals always on point.
Final Thoughts:
In my last review of Billie ( ), I said that her debut album better not just be about the monster under the bed like she said it would be. Right now, she is proving me completely wrong. This song is getting replayed a hell of a lot from me due to its unforgettable sound and replay value. As a huge fan of Billie, I was already excited for her album (even pre-ordered a physical copy), but now I just can't wait much longer. I hope we get more songs with this feel, or totally new ones on the album. It seems like it'll be pretty diverse (Imaging having a soft song like "when the party's over" and then having this or "bury a friend". That's an odd mixture, but dope.) I said this last time and I will say it again, this upcoming debut album will either be a disaster or masterpiece. I no longer hope it will be a masterpiece, I know it will.
 
thehatsmol

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